A good friend of mine recently found himself in the line of fire within a business that has not met its financial targets for the year.
The business has missed its targets by some margin, around 20%. When you are counting in millions that hurts. Its shareholders are asking questions and pointing fingers.
My friend gets stuff done. That’s why they gave him the job. He solves problems that few have the capacity for in the game he’s in. By the way, most of the factors contributing to underperformance have been in the lap of the Gods in the form of weather events.
He calls a spade a spade. He leans to the right in terms of those who avoid difficult conversations in a concern for keeping the peace (left), and those who are a little too forceful and sometimes break relationships (right).
My observation is most people who work with this guy appreciate him. Some would take a bullet for him. That’s because if you can stand up to the scrutiny and put in the hard work, he will recognise and reward your effort. You will get back more than you have put in. He’s fundamentally kind and fair.
He tends to say out loud what most people are thinking. He’s mostly accurate, it’s just that it makes some people uncomfortable. Sometimes he has to say sorry. Fortunately he’s not too proud to say sorry.
He’s that person in my life who tells me when my negativity is infecting others, and it’s time to snap out of it. That may not work for everyone, but it does for me. He holds a higher standard in terms of self-management, and he energises me to do better. We used to train and compete in the same sport and he did the same for me in that arena.
Once, at the finish of a race I was less than happy with, he held out his upright palm, looked me in the eye, and said; “I think you dropped your sense of humour back there.”
In that instant he reminded me to gain some perspective and move forward.
Yes he can be a bit direct, even brutal. What he isn’t, is afraid to call it out. If he sees it, he says it. He affects change. Leaders are paid to affect change. To make things happen. In leadership the mechanism for achieving this is called communication. It is via conversations that value gets added.
Perhaps the most powerful conversation for moving value is the action-agreement conversation. In terms of mechanics it is the simplest of the leadership conversations I think a leader needs in their armoury. And yet - along with giving feedback - seems to be the most poorly executed.
Action conversations have an impact. You are going to experience each other at the meeting point of agreeing what needs to be done.
Other conversations like those that are about purpose or possibility exist in a more contextual realm. They are important. They inform the work and the direction of travel, but they don’t ask for a physical application from someone. They reside in a more ’talking about it’ space.
Action requires application and therefore there is a cost. We know this and it can make us nervous. Even when that ‘ask' is in a person's job description we can still be reluctant. We are wired to notice and support social cohesion and avoid disharmony. It is part of the evolutionary advantage of our social species.
However an overplayed strength becomes a pitfall. Too much harmony can also equal a lack of decision making and progress. I experience this at an organisation level quite frequently. It can be a difficult problem for leaders and their teams to spot because working together feels good. Everyone gets on and communication is happening. It’s just that nothing is moving.
It’s what we might call the cosy club. Cosy clubs tend to have a blind spot around the value of disagreeing, challenging each other, making a decision, and holding to account. Over time cosy clubs can be more of a brake than an accelerator.
I have observed that from a lower level in the organisation, it can be easy to look up and wonder what leaders are actually doing. I’ve done it myself and I understand ineffective leadership can turn up in a senior person who avoids difficult conversations and decisions.
For the most part, leadership is demanding by way of the tension that must be navigated to get results. That’s not always visible from a level of two below where there's less ambiguity. And the more senior the role - the greater the number and frequency of difficult conversations - in the murky grey of ambiguity.
Leaders must find the tricky balance of maintaining momentum through decision making while attempting to gather enough information to inform their decisions. They must make demands on their people's time and energy while not pushing so hard that they break.
People and performance are not mutually exclusive. They can and should co-exist. You can be demanding and care. You can push for outcomes and support personal development. You can love your children and provide strong boundaries (I would argue this is love). My experience is that this is a more fulfilling territory to occupy with others. I believe it is this intersection that defines high performance.
This is what my friend does. He holds the moment of impact rather than shy away from it. He holds people to account. He holds himself to account. He drives for higher levels of performance. He has the courage to see it and say it… to call it out. He commits his intention into energy and action.
He’s not perfect at it and could at times choose a less affronting delivery. He might be an even more powerful force if he did. But he is for the greater good and he affects positive change.
So let’s not confuse brutal with direct. Let’s not confuse direct with directive. And let’s not get mixed up about what’s cruel, kind and called-for. A big part of my job is about finding the sweet spot of people and performance.
Today I want to celebrate the action takers and decision makers.
Matt helps leaders and teams develop their mindset and resourcefulness so they can relate productively, communicate effectively, and navigate challenge, change and complexity with confidence.
Through coaching and training, he empowers leaders with better choices and more options for progress - building better leadership from the inside out.
Curious what that could look like for you or your organisation? Let’s talk.