We pass in the corridor. We both know there’s a problem between us but neither of us is saying anything. The things we should and could be working on together have slowed or come to a halt. We need to get back on terms for progress sake, and for the sake of everyone around us.
Compromised leadership is where leaders are unwilling to engage with each other. There’s been a falling out over some kind of disagreement. The worst form of this is where you are polite to each other face to face, but have withdrawn your contribution and are withholding resources and support. Nothing is moving.
Our organisations are littered with compromised leadership. And it’s not just the leadership that’s compromised. Compromised leadership affects everyone and everything connected to it. There’s an old African proverb that says;
When the elephants fight, it’s the grass that suffers
When leader’s disengage with each other it's a constraint on the entire business. Respective team members attempt to navigate the impasse between their bosses. They make little progress and eventually give up. Over time they may even use it as an excuse to disengage themselves, saying things like, it’s not worth it or there’s no point.
It begins with avoiding the real conversation. Instead of having it, you build a case against the other party. You create stories that form beliefs. You’ve forgotten to check if the stories are even real. You become stuck in an entrenched position. It becomes your truth and begins to consume you. We all do it and we all suffer.
Have you ever wondered how this kind of compromised leadership hits your business bottom line and impacts the results you want? Perhaps we should measure avoided conversations in performance reviews. It's normal, but that doesn't make it OK or desirable.
The solution is communication. There needs to be listening and talking. And yes, it’s best if you listen first. You have to be able to entertain the notion that you might be stuck in a story, and to be open to the possibility that your story isn't completely accurate. You need to find enough human bandwidth to allow for, and forgive what's not been communicated.
Talking the issue through generally brings a more useful perspective. Sometimes that can even happen through talking with somebody other than the offending party. Talking it through allows you to surface the issue and see a more useful reality. Useful, because you are looking for a way forward rather than a way to be right.
Consider the opposite. You hold it inside. You are a self referencing party of one. You are judge, jury and jailor. Sure, you can maintain being right and justified, but you also remain stuck. When you internalise in this way, you tend to propagate the worst version of the ‘truth’. It feeds your resentment.
When leaders take responsibility for closing off chapters in their relationships with colleagues through quality communication, they create clean lines of communication and begin to make their organisations much more efficient and productive. Sometimes you need some help with that.
Matt helps leaders and teams develop their mindset and resourcefulness so they can relate productively, communicate effectively, and navigate challenge, change and complexity with confidence.
Through coaching and training, he empowers leaders with better choices and more options for progress - building better leadership from the inside out.
Curious what that could look like for you or your organisation? Let’s talk.