I’m helping a couple of people navigate unexpected change at the moment. The kind where the job you thought you had is suddenly gone.
Having the rug pulled out like that is unnerving to say the least. It tends to send us into a bit of a tail spin. It is easy to get overwhelmed by a waterfall of dark thoughts. Your mind and emotions go hyperbolic trying to make sense of it all. It’s a necessary part of the process, but it can feel chaotic. You can learn more about the emotional journey of change in this article.
Your attitude to uncertainty can lead to creativity and possibility, or it can lead to fear and paralysis. One attitude gets a better result than the other. In the early stages of dealing with an unwelcome change it can swing between the two several times a minute! That’s normal. However, moving to action (on anything that carries you forward), is about the most helpful thing you can do in any given moment.
There is a pattern with these big unexpected changes. Often they turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to us. If only we could hold onto that notion more securely in the stormy journey of transition.
A couple of decades ago I picked up a book in an airport, and finished it on the hour flight home. It’s a short book. It remains the most powerful material I have ever seen on responding to change.
Over the years I have given countless copies to friends, colleagues and clients who are in the midst of facing new circumstances. I read it myself regularly because, as simple as it is, I forget the lessons.
The book is called Who Moved My Cheese? by Dr Spencer Johnson. The book is genius, although it may appear somewhat childlike. It lands important messages about responding to change through a very simple story that speaks to complex parts in all of us.
These days you don’t even have to read the book as it has been animated and summarised online. Search it on Google or YouTube and take your pick.
In a nutshell the story is about four characters in a maze, two mice and two little people. One day they discover their cheese (that which sustains them), has gone. The four characters represent four responses and four underlying mindsets:
Sniff, sniffs out change early
Scurry, scurries into action
Hem, denies and resists change as he fears it will lead to something worse
Haw, learns to adapt in time when he sees changing can lead to something better
We all have to find our way in the maze and the maze will always change. Haw comes to realise that his journey was far more painful than Sniff and Scurry’s, and it didn’t need to be. Hem remains stuck, but maybe he will get there one day.
Having cheese makes you happy
The more important your cheese is to you, the more you want to hold onto it
There is a correlation between that which you are attached to, your resistance in holding onto it, and the suffering that resistance causes.
If you do not change you can become extinct
The more successful species on the planet are those that have the most flexibility for evolving and adapting. This is also true in life, relationships and leadership.
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
If fear wasn’t running the show, what would you do? What could you do? In the immortal words of Susan Jeffers; ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’.
Smell the cheese often so you know when it’s getting old
Sometimes you choose change, and sometimes change chooses you. Change is inevitable. It goes better when you acknowledge and engage with it.
Movement in a new direction helps you find new cheese
When we commit to a course of action the universe conspires in our favour.
On a far more scientific note, there is a part of the brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). RAS has an influencing role in what we are conscious of. Clear focus on a new direction activates your RAS to notice that which may help you get there.
When you stop feeling afraid you feel good
Mood follows action. Action beats fear. Action is the antidote to suffering.
Imagining yourself finding new cheese - leads you to it
I wonder if quantum physics will end up proving the law of attraction. Given the ‘Observer Effect’ (every act of observation influences that which is being observed), visioning your future might really help.
The sooner you let go of old cheese, the sooner you find new cheese
It is safer to search in the maze, than remain in a cheese-less situation
As scary as change can be, it’s safer to get busy than to remain stuck. Perception often gets in the way, and the bigger challenge is managing anxiety.
Old beliefs do not lead you to new cheese
Of the things you remain attached to and cause you to suffer, belief is the most dangerous. Behaviour does not shift without belief doing so first.
When you see that you can find and enjoy new cheese, you change your course
This implies the deeper issue of self-belief and confidence.
Take action on the next smallest step
Surround yourself with people who support you
Re-engage with mentors
Connect to your network
Allow yourself to be vulnerable (vulnerability is courage by another name).
Move with the cheese and enjoy it
What’s the next smallest positive action you can take?
What do you need to acknowledge and accept?
What does a compelling vision of the future look like for you?
Who can you connect with in your network that could help?
Matt helps leaders and teams develop their mindset and resourcefulness so they can relate productively, communicate effectively, and navigate challenge, change and complexity with confidence.
Through coaching and training, he empowers leaders with better choices and more options for progress - building better leadership from the inside out.
Curious what that could look like for you or your organisation? Let’s talk.